Gia Raquel

Here lies a snippet of Sunday Night ponderings. If you hate Sundays as much as me, I hope this distracts you for a bit.

I find it strangely amusing how people never seem to be content with the point of their lives that they’re in. When you’re young, you want to be older. When you’re older, you’d give anything to go back. Isn’t that ironic? We’re all kind of just running around trying to find whatever will get us to the place we want to go.

As a kid squat in the middle of “big life-changing decisions”, I’m seeing the light in both sides of the tunnel. We’ve got eternal youth; the innocence and happiness of a child is timeless. Where dandelion wishes really come true, and the moon follows us every time we go on road trips. Then there’s experience and control; you’ve got some common sense and endless memories you could fill a tomb with all the life within you. There are so many instances where I would love to go back to that innocence. There is this delicate beauty about it that rings its rarity at my age (even though I’m not even legal yet). But in a moment, I could passionately want for my time to leave everything familiar and start as a stranger. That’s what growing up is, isn’t it? You grow into familiar strangers until you learn how to balance them all?

At this point, I don’t really think I have a choice. This is a bit of a joke considering none of us have a choice. It’s not like we’re offered a red and blue pill. We can’t just choose where we want to be in our lives. I believe I’m in the thick of something grand! And if you really think about it, everyone is! We are ever-growing stories eclipsed by our overthinking, convinced of endless uncertainty! Now stop. Think of who you are. Or, at least, collect the fragments you wish to keep. Time is a femme fatale and will never give you what you want. So go and make her jealous. Your time is all she desires. She can’t take it when you’re ignoring her.

Your life is rolling by without you even realizing, or maybe you’re even trying to push through them all at once. Take it from a person who doesn’t know which side of the tunnel she wants most; every phase that exists, there is something to look forward to. And somehow you’ve made it this far in the midst of every confusion. You’ve done something right.