Gia Raquel

I have no idea of what is to be

I pretend that hope is thinly spread across my bones

When it truly weighs me down

Pressing me to my bed

Too much to think of or even bother with

When night rolls on me like a blanket

And dead stars awaken for their ghosts to wander the sky

I tend to listen to the lack of life

Silently pondering if it is if I am lonely

Or in love with the nothingness.

No expectations plague my mind

Only deep heart beats

And on bitter nights,

Wishful thinking.

There’s a comforting feeling

When I feel warm tears on my face

Knowing people can see

The pent up spirits beating me like drums.

Steady breathing used to make me feel alone

Like I didn’t exist to those around me

And they were gone, leaving me to stare

At black shapes and crippled memories.

I sometimes wander

From notes left from too long ago to matter

And breathing in thick air.

I trust the night won’t scare me once more

The hunger that echoes my body

Too far late for me to blow away fire

The unknown feeds and awakens me

Anything is loud, and I’m left to listen

Wondering if the person in the speeding car, screeching down on the street, is lost.

Maybe I could tell them that I am too, and sometimes it’s not that bad.